"twas the Chat fight before xmas"
twas the night before Xmas, and here in the chat,
I was arguing with Krandall which turned into a spat.
"Harleys are awesome" he types with an emoticon smirk,
"little debbie is better than reese's, too", WTF you're a moronic jerk.
Then, just to make matters, worse, here comes weightlifting chatter,
But like a true 'merikan I really just wanna drink beer, watch p0rn and get fatter.
So i make up some filters to make myself feel better, because I dont give a sh!t,
Im sick of randy geo and funyun fiddlin each others musclebound cl!ts.
I told him he's an ass, but, i figure, he should already know.
All of a sudden "you are banned from posting" pops up in my chat window.
F******K ME not again!!!!! But....Luckily Hefe shows up to lend me a hand,
ummm cuz, you know, Cant really argue that much when I'm banned.
Get him Hefe! tell him what an assbag he is bein'
With this totalitarian control issues and hate, he might as well be North Korean.
But then the unthinkable happens, he bans the whole freakin crew,
its just Krandall alone, hoarding chatz like a jew.
Shortly thereafter comes the inevitable change of heart,
the internet rage has subsided, hate cannot break chat apart.
Now were all friends again, I hope we can all get along,
but then Phucker pops in saying liberals are ALL stupid and wrong.
"Aww sh!t, here we go again" I think quietly to myself,
then he says "democrats are destroying the world, everyone get your guns off the shelf!"
Gerd Dammit, Dan, the end is not here yet, relax, have a glass of KETEL one,
soon you'll calm down, and stop hoarding all the guns.
Now since that has been settled, we can all take a step back, and reflect,
of course, then Mad Dog logs in, spewing all sorts of liberal disrespect.
I think "please dont say anything ridiculous to phucker, I am having such a nice day"
So I sit back and let them hash it out, like caged hamsters, trying to get laid.
"well, at least they're not yapping about college football again" I say,
that's the only thing more lame than Nascar as far as driving me away
So while all this was happening, I wondered what the hell happened to Preddy,
"Mr. Uber quad builder" takes two years to complete, and STILL IT'S NOT READY!!!!
I can tell you without a doubt, if I have any machine to build,
I know where I'm NOT sending it, If I was Alkire, I'd be FAR less than thrilled
I think that was a sign that Sadly, we have rung the website's Death Knell,
Not as many folks stop by anymore to B.S. WHAT THE HELL!
I dont give half a sh!t if you dont own a quad anymore,
I guess our acquaintance is just THAT fragile, gtfo you whores.
But then, Just when I think my imaginary internet friends have all vanished,
Maggy shows up shouting belligerent profanity in spanish.
Im thankful I am still alive, after my trip to ride dunes out in Cali,
I was worried those mexicans might kidnap this gringo, leaving me bleeding in an alley.
As I wipe the old man fog from my eyes, a cloudy apparition suddenly appears,
Holy hell it's Pat, saying "blahblahblah" with his fingers in his ears.
"f**k you and your warm winter temps" I say with both middle fingers extended,
"I hope you die slowly, and painfully in a ditch, with your bowels distended!"
Well since we're already spewing so much abrasive Chat E-hate,
Aaron shows up, to bring more, since thats his M.O. but he's un-fashionably late.
As I come back from filling my printer with toner,
I see he's cracked ANOTHER joke about ME being high, even though it is HIS state full of stoners.
And also, shut the f**k up about my stupid sprocket mistake,
fukin guy's like a walking .gif, looping on constant repeat, not sure how much more I can take.
Simmadown everyone, keep it friendly, and stay on a politically correct basis,
Langford just showed up, we dont want him to think we are racists.
But....Where have Krandall and hefe gone since this whole thing began?
why, they've been lurking and passing out candy from hefe's sweet cargo van.
COOL! everyone's here now, now we can really chat like old times, and have a good internet fight
but then 5 oclock hits, we're like cockroaches, when you flip on the lights.
like we have better things to do or our lives are actually that exciting,
It's WAY more fun arguing about absolutely nothing important and pointless internet fighting.
thats why they invented the internet, it's free therapy I truly believe,
if you consider internet douchebaggery a handicap, call me CHristopher Reeves.
So another year has gone by, and chat just keeps getting gayer,
as the The usefulness of this site keeps falling off layer by layer.
Do we all need to have an atv so I can consider you friends?
personally, I dont think so, just dont judge me for wearing depends.
It's true, it was the quads that drew us here to the webz and the rallies,
but now we're here for the LOL's you buncha gotdamned pantyhose wearing sallies!
SO i'd like to wish everyone a merry christmas, to you, your family, and friends.
And kwanzaa to Lang, of course, and hanukah to the jews, as the year draws to an end.
Think Ill go sit down maybe have some vodka and juice,
watch an English soccer match, then wait for the abuse.
Merry Christmas fools! Be safe traveling. Its fukin miserable across the midwest.
