Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Krandall]

My wife left me because I'm too insecure.

 



























No wait, she's back.
She just went to make a cup of tea.

[Hefe]

[Krandall]

I like my women like I like my whiskey.
12 years old and mixed up with coke.




Disclaimer: This is just a joke, i do not condone the practice of mixing whiskey with coke.

 


 

[Peelz]

I like my women like I like my whiskey.
12 years old and mixed up with coke.




Disclaimer: This is just a joke, i do not condone the practice of mixing whiskey with coke.

 


 

   

[Hefe]

that's just bad form

I like my 12yo's lucid!

[Peelz]

that's just bad form

I like my 12yo's lucid!

the struggle is half the pleasure.

 

[Hefe]

the best part about showering with a 12 year old.... you can slick her hair back and she looks 8!

* Hefe thinks this thread may have gone too far

[Krandall]

Yea, I'll check out now

[Peelz]

the best part about showering with a 12 year old.... you can slick her hair back and she looks 8!

* Hefe thinks this thread may have gone too far

thats my favorite joke. tell it all the time.... love it.   

my version:

best thing about showering with 10 yr old girls? slick back their hair and they look like 8 year old boys. 

[Krandall]

Lawyer: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer: Sir, you were speeding.
Lawyer: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see y our license please?
Lawyer: I would give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Lawyer: Lost it four years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see... Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Lawyer: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Lawyer: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Lawyer: Yes, and I killed the owner.
Officer: You what?
Lawyer: Killed the owner, I had to self defense otherwise he would call the police and I would be in jail.
The Officer looks at the Lawyer and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes five police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Senior Officer: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please! The lawyer steps out of the vehicle.
Lawyer: Is there a problem sir?
Senior Officer: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and killed the owner.
Lawyer: Killed the owner?
Senior Officer: Is this your car, sir?
Lawyer: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Senior Officer: One of my officers claims that you don't have a driving license.
The lawyer digs into his pocket takes out his license and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Senior Officer: Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you killed the owner.
Lawyer: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

[Hefe]

[Peelz]

thats amazing

[Krandall]

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.
The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."
The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.
She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

 

[Peelz]

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.
The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."
The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.
She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

 

randy, true to form, now delivering DAD JOKES.   

[Hefe]